I had the chance to go to the General Relief Society Broadcast with some good friends on Saturday night. I was deeply impressed with each of the talks, but particularly Pres. Monson's talk. He spoke on not judging others, and being charitable. This sent many thoughts into my mind, and encouraged me to swallow some pride and make some changes to make myself a better person. I started that task off today. I went to visit a friend of mine who went through a miscarriage and then struggled for another year to become pregnant again. She had her baby 3 weeks ago, and so I decided that I should go and see her. I felt impressed to visit her because we have not always gotten along, and I really wanted her to know how genuinely thrilled for her I was that she finally has her baby she's been wanting for so long. I had a great visit with her, and we talked a lot about how motherhood should never be taken for granted, and that pregnancy should never be taken for granted or complained about. I expressed to her my sincere joy for her and her growing family, and returned home with a great love for my own experience as a mother, that has been growing TREMENDOUSLY everyday. Words cannot express the blessing of motherhood and having the opportunity to carry a child, and I am so thankful that I have had that opportunity, and that I have Zack in my life forever.
The day went on and, with no explanation, acquired a sense of anxiety and self doubt. I was invited by some friends to relax on the lawn and visit, and Clayton encouraged me to go, which I silently thanked him for forcing me to get over my internal anxiety! I visited with my friends about our Relief Society lesson on Sunday which was wonderful, and just caught up on life. I sat back and reflected on my situation I'm in right now and how I can truly say that I am very happy, and what a blessing that is. However, my anxiety and self doubt stayed as a slight nag through the remainder of the night. Until now.
I got on Facebook, which I often do just to check status updates when I am bored, and I came across this video posted by a friend of mine. It was entitled Abortion Survivor. This sparked a curiosity, as I have personal and very strong feelings on the subject, and it had pertained to my many thoughts of life's blessings for me today. After watching this video, I could no long deny that I am a daughter of God with great potential. He loves me, and I know that. My self doubt and anxiety subsided, and I am at peace with who I am, and have received a renewed desire to push on and make myself better. I want to be more worthy of that love that my Heavenly Father has for me, and to be a better person to bless myself and the lives of my family and those around me. I consider it the greatest honor to be a mother, a wife, and a daughter of God. In in the large scheme of things, nothing else matters. Several of my thoughts turned back to the Relief Society meeting Saturday night, where the hymn Count Your Many Blessings was sung. The third verse struck a deep impression on me that night, and continued to ring true to me today:
When you look at others with their lands of gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
How truly blessed we are to be here on this earth, and may that blessing NEVER be taken for granted. (I apologize that half the screen is cut off. But the message is still clear.)
My thoughts immediately after this video: I am a Child Of God. And HE HAS SENT ME HERE. He has sent us all here, and how lucky we are to be here.
4 comments:
You really are such a sweetheart Kristie, what an amazing testimony you have shared. I am so glad that you are part of my life.
I am so thankful for you. You are a CHOICE daughter of God. And I'm so blessed to be your mother.
I love you Sweetie.
Great story. And you're awesome.
Thanks for your thoughts. Motherhood is wonderful.
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